It’s been quite awhile my friends, and what to I return with? Of course, another trash outing courtesy of DC with the Latino superhero Blue Beetle. This shit is exactly why I’m tired of bothering to watch almost anything these days. In this superhero story, an alien technology in the form of a scarab that bonds with its host on their spinal column to form a symbiotic relationship battles Capitalism. Yup, you read that right. The hero fights against a corporation that wants to use this technology to create an army to sell to the highest bidder.
The family of the titular character was supposed to come off as charming, and funny, but instead they come off as annoying as fuck. Pardon my French. They humiliate him, mock him, and are responsible (yes the scarab chooses but they pulled it out of the box) for him becoming the beetle. And in a later scene, opt to go on a rescue mission whereby they kill numerous random henchmen. Which is truly astounding because in a previous scene, our hero was a coward and a pussy that refused to kill said henchmen and opted to knock them out instead. Spoiler alert, he got his dad killed because of his said cowardice. I don’t know where this pussification of heroes arose from, but it doesn’t make you evil to kill. In fact, I’d argue that’s precisely what makes you the hero. The will to do what is necessary to overcome adversity. Even if it means to kill. The corporations have no qualms with killing, hell if it made them money they’d gladly do so. And they do that all the time in the real world. Lovely bit of psyops going on.
The movie has plenty of references to other movies DC has made, with a Gotham law sweater, and direct mentions of the Flash and Superman. There’s a bit of worldbuilding going on with the city that this takes place in, and with mentions of the original blue beetle (a non super powered hero who also happens to be an eccentric billionaire). The fights themselves are subpar for the genre and a bit flat. This action belongs in 2008 with Iron Man, which speaking of! This movie blatantly borrows or copies off of which is lazy writing. The scene with Jaime Reyes (our hero) as he first uses the technology is pretty much copying Iron Man’s “gotta learn to fly before you walk” scene. Sorry, not pretty much copying, it is a copy. To do so is not to being in reference to, or to draw parallels, it is simply bad writing. The villain played by Susan Sarandon is Obadiah Stane, sorry wrong movie, is Victoria Kord. Couldn’t quite tell that she’s her own character.
So, to reiterate, our hero is a pussy that refuses to kill, while his family apparently loves to kill especially his nana with her minigun. Towards the end, hearing the voice of the scarab go “we are not killers” honest to god had me guffawing. Whoever wrote this movie, never hire them again. Please. The writer’s strike is a good thing but if you are going to produce shit, your pay should be on par with the shit you wrote. Write a good product, get paid well.
There was nothing redeeming about this movie. It was a complete waste of time, and cemented my belief that DC has become a steaming pile of idiocracy that can only produce three letter agency psyops’ products. They even hired James Gunn so this idiocracy is truly gonna be something special. I didn’t mention any actors because it’s not their fault that they’re in this trash. They did the best they could with what they were given. I do not recommend watching this.